I ALLOWED FEAR TO STEAL MY JOY

I was given a test last week. That test was, “will you allow fear to steal your joy?” And I did. I allowed fear to steal my joy. I also allowed grief, anger, sadness, and confusion to settle in and get comfortable.

See, the week before, we had two incredibly positive life altering things happen. We were on such a joy high. Cloud nine. I was touching the fingertips of my purpose, my FAMLY’S purpose that could very possibly become a full reality for us, AND I got to marry the love of my life just a few days after that. It was amazing! Then abruptly after we had two other life altering things happen- one in a negative way and another in a very confusing way.

I allowed fear of the unknown and how others will react flood my mind. “What if ____, or _____, or _____.” “How will what happened today effect the positivity of last week and the future?” When in all reality these things are out of our hands. They’re in God’s hands and all part of His perfect plan. I had to remind myself that I was put here on this earth at this time for a great purpose. My family was knit perfectly here on this earth at this time for a great purpose. Why am I allowing these negative feelings to steal my joy and attack my self worth?

The feelings of fear, grief, anger, sadness, and confusion are allowed here. They’re all valid and common feelings of the situations I have had to process. But I will not allow them to steal my joy. I have felt those feelings deeply and they are now released. These happenings and feelings are all part of what is molding me into who I am supposed to be and I am grateful for them.

I have my joy and my joy is here to stay. I refuse to allow negative emotions to shut me down. I will use those emotions to keep pushing forward. I will write them down and make them part of the beautiful story of my life. I’m in control. I will pass this test.

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